Its killing him

There was once a spectacled, short and curly haired girl who lived through high school without much confidence..She didnt even dare to look a guy straight in his eyes..She was lost, couldnt find her way in life and was always kinda neglected in the shadows..

In university, some of her friends treated her really well. She loved the feeling, of being cared and being loved..She just want everyone happy and didnt bother of what she really thinks..But deep down inside,she didnt believe in true love, she felt insecure in relationships, so she never wanna get involved in one.

There was a guy,who treated her really well and did many things to make her touched. August 8th, 2009. On this fateful day, the guy came to the girl's house and finally asked the girl what he wanted to ask for so long. The girl hesitated, and asked him to go back home to wait for her answer. And when he got back and called the girl, she said yes. And they had been dating ever since..He is one guy that accept for who she is. She can tell him whatever she feels, whatever problems she faced whether in school, friendship, or even family matters. He understands her, when shes quiet or when shes chirpy.

However, its a long distance relationship. The only good thing is that both of them lived in the same state,just about 15 to 20mins journey apart..This is the first time for both of them.As the relationship goes, many problems arised. All these while, the girl didnt really care for him like a gf should.She just take everything for granted. But the guy accepted her faults and take the blame on himself. Maybe he's not good enuf?Maybe he shouldnt doubt his gf?Maybe he should be more considerate instead of demanding more from her?
As for the girl, she noticed the problem too, why isnt she care her bf like a gf should? Why she didnt feel like finding excuses to spend more time with her bf instead of trying to get back home when the day is late? Why doesnt she miss him when they are miles apart?Why doesnt she bookmark her bf's facebook page and stare at it just for the sake of easing the pain of being apart?Why doesnt she remembers her bf's phone num so that she can still contact him when her phone ran out of battery?Why isnt she who count the weeks til the next date?Why she didnt count the "monthssary" like others do?Why doesnt she thinks of her bf everytime she saw cute things? These are all her doubts..But she kept these thoughts to herself and nvr uttered a single word to another human..She thought time can change everything and hes a good guy, she should feel blesssed of having him.

The last date had reminded her of the problem..He wanted to watch a movie with her but her sister also wanna watch afew movies with her too. And she was cruel and chosen her sister and they ended up didnt watch any movies. Naturally, the boy felt kinda sad and angry and she can see that from his face. The date ended badly. The girl went home and thought for really long, and think that the problem must be solved.Tomorrow will mark 1 year and 4 months precisely, but she hasnt sure of her feelings for him. And this is a really big problem..The girl couldnt offer as much as he contributed in the relationship.If this goes on, she couldnt imagine how much more she will hurt him.

7 december 2010.He came to the her house to return the Harry Potter book she had borrowed him, and also the key chain she had given him.He held her like its the last thing he can do to get back her,but she just cant stop crying..She knew she had hurt the guy so deep.The guy who loved her so much,who will forgive every single mistake she did, who changed so much to protect her, who put her above all else and..even dreamed of marrying her someday..

But she couldnt turn her back on these problems.. If the same thing happen in the future, like they're already 2 or 3 yrs together?It would certainly kill him more..Its not that she didnt try, 1 year and 4 months was really long..And definitely,it isnt the guy's fault..The guy had been too perfect, just that he hadnt find the suitable girl that deserves him..
And the girl was wrong..she shouldnt accept anyone based on just a slight move of her heart..False hope could blossom into great mistakes..And she shouldnt shut all those things inside by herself.She was too greedy and wanted too many things and ended up hurting the last man she'll want to hurt in this world..


Its a long distance relationship and our love doesnt have strong base..I cant pretend these problems nvr existed anymore..I dunno how to make u feel better, everything i said seems like breaking ur heart further into pieces.Nothing i said could save us from the fallout.. Just let God decide should our future intercept..im sorry and take care.